Bruno's Blog – a complete animal at work

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
‘1′
Blaming your farts on me…..
not funny… not funny at all !!!

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‘2′
Yelling at me for barking.
I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU IDIOT!

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‘3′
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

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‘4′
Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

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‘5′
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you’re not home.

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‘6′
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

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‘7′
Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”,
then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!

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‘8′
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

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‘9′
Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven’t you noticed the fur?

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‘10′
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.

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Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who’s boss here!
You don’t see me picking up your poop do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!  

It was entitled 7 things for a happy dog christmas or something like that. I thought it needed few additions

1 “If you are going away, make sure that your dog can go too and is genuinely welcome, or that kennels or a live-in carer have been booked. If it is not possible to find suitable care late in the day, your plans should be revisited.”

Don’t go. Or at least don’t go away without me.

2 “Make sure that old or ailing dogs and cats are not over-excited or stressed. New puppies and kittens and other young animals should not be acquired before the New Year.”

No need for another pet just now, thank you, unless it should be a shapely young female Jack Russell in which case I might be prepared to make an exception

3 “Get the whole family to take the dogs for a long walk in the afternoon. It’s a great way to burn off some of  those extra calories.”
 

Why wait until afternoon? After breakfast, lunch and dinner would do.

4 “It’s important to remember that our pets like routine and should be fed at normal meal times. While it can be tempting to feed dogs leftovers, remember that they must not be allowed rich foods or potentially harmful poultry bones.”

Actually an open fire is pretty good, too.